Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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