pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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