i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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