Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
