Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
they call him Oral-B. enough said
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
