how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
