If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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