i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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