I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
