You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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