I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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