I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
