12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
