Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
