Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
