Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
