sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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