Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
