So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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