break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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