hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
