hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
