We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
