Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
