no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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