I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
