Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Drake has all the answers
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
