I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
