Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
