I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
