I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
