ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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