so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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