I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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