Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
