turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
