I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
