Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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