OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
