How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
