So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
