I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
