Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
