you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
