im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
