I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
