i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
