It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
