dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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