i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
