She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
