grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
