i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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